Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Happy 5 months to Ellie...

My baby is five months today. No longer a newborn for sure....she is now a full fledged infant. I am sad to have her newbie-ness behind me. :( I miss that cuddling on your chest, sleeping in your arms stage already. BUT...I am loving her new skills and abilities. I love how she throws me the biggest grin each morning when I come in to wake her up as well as so often during the day when her eyes meet mine. I love how she coos and giggles at me and how I can just read her immense love for me in her eyes. Man, I simply adore this child!!! I think I fall more and more in love with her every day!!! It is true what you hear....even when you think it is impossible to love your second baby as much as the first ('cause I am head over heals for Luke as well!) a mommy always has more room in her heart! I love each of them so deeply, with an unconditional, aching kind of love. They are so different, but I love them just the same!!

Now....I can't lie to you all right now and say that I like my toddler's behavior all that much today though. Nope. I'm definitely struggling this morning to find the positive in him. He is being such a stinker!!! From the moment he woke up, it has been a hard day. I've already had to give three time outs and had to call our neighbor to cancel a little trip to the park with our kids because he was being so stinky! I hated to do that too, by the way. We haven't been out of our house in days and days because Luke has been struggling with a yucky cold. This morning, we probably shouldn't have even considered going to the park because he is still coughing, but I am desperate to get out and be at-least a little social. But, after several warnings and chances, Luke STILL would not cooperate or even listen to me. So, I had to cancel. It's the first time I've ever had to do something like that. My neighbor understood...she had kiddos herself, but it still sucks! I'm sure you're wondering where he is now that is allowing me to blog. In his room...having a 'required' quiet time in his bed until he can be kind again. Argh! I'm beginning to wonder if three is going to be harder than two. I'm sure that he is being such a grump partly because he isn't feeling 100% yet....and I'm sure he wants to play too (we did go out in the backyard for a couple of hours yesterday), but all those things don't make it any easier to handle. Its hard!!!! I hate days like this!!! Makes me want to crawl back in bed and throw the covers over my head and pretend I'm not a responsible mommy for a while. I'm sure you all know that feeling!! ARGH!!!!!

Okey dokey.....guess that's enough venting for now. I should go check on him...it's awfully quiet up there. Thankfully, Ellie is down for her morning nap and I'm able to just focus on him right now. Oh! How I hope the rest of the day doesn't continue like this!!!!!!!!!!

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