Monday, July 21, 2008

A New Day....

**UPDATE*** 8pm
I'm sorry to have not updated until now...some 12+ hours after my post this morning. The day has escaped me. But I wanted you to know that Angel came through the surgery well, and was settled into his room on the PICU by mid-morning. Sarah and Nick were able to see him around 10:45 and for Sarah, it was quite difficult emotionally! It's been a very long 24 hours and to see your baby lying there, abdomen open, body sedated with a ventilator in place.....well....I just can't begin to imagine that moment for her! But in the deepest parts of my heart, I feel an abiding peace that healing can now begin. And as the Lord has worked miracles through Angel's short 8 years, He will continue to do so in the coming days and weeks! Of this I am certain!
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It is a new day. Angel remains in surgery as I type, and while his physical body is being wounded and rebuilt, I cannot help but feel that restoration is at hand. Sarah updated just a short time ago to let us all know that everything is running smoothly at this time. He went into surgery last evening around 8:30, with Sarah by his side all the way into the OR until he was asleep. That in itself is is a huge blessing and something that Angel needed so desperately! Sarah has always been there through every procedure and God just knew he needed her all the way up until the very last moment and worked out the details to make it happen. She relayed the details of Angel pleading to go home and clinging to her neck and to her belly through his tears as they prepared him in the OR, and I have to be honest and tell you that even just typing those words makes a lump swell in my throat and tears sting my eyes! I just cannot fathom! But she stayed with him until he was under anesthesia and was able to hold it together in order that she could remain strong for him. They began the surgery at 9:45pm and by 2am, he had his new liver. By 4:15, they were preparing the bowel. It is amazing and horrifying to think about. A strange mixture of rejoicing and sadness.

Sarah and Nick were able to sleep some through the night, but she admits to feeling very numb and in shock that this is all truly happening. There is much trepidation and fear of what is to come.....of seeing Angel intubated; his body likely not 'closed' in the PICU when the surgery is completed....of the precarious hours that will follow as they try to stabilize him. Unfortunately, the coming hours and days will likely be the hardest, as exhaustion and reality set in. There is housing yet to find (that is insanely expensive... upwards of $3000 a month for a small furnished apartment!!!), details to work out as to where and how Haven will be born, and how/when Hudson (who it seems is now coming down with a sore throat) :( will be able to see his brother. So much for one family to face! Thankfully, there is an army of friends and family around them to offer support in all the ways that will be needed.

I slept fitfully through the night, waking from dreams of Angel and finding it difficult to return to sleep. I must've fallen asleep praying on several occasions. I must admit to you that yesterday was quite intense for me....a little more than maybe was necessary....but I just feel all of this so deeply, with so much compassion in my heart. It is very difficult to watch someone so close to you suffer so deeply and hurt so intensely! It seems wrong that my life can go on 'normally' when there is something so life altering happening to someone you care about! It just seems unfair. And not to mention your own personal fears and worries! I sat for a long time last night, talking to Ty and crying, and at his urging decided I needed to pray for a healthy perspective....that I might be able to be compassionate and empathetic (...and useful!) without being completely burdened and weighed down. It is in God's hands, after all. I have no control over this and I just keep hearing Him whisper for me to trust Him and to allow Him to move and work. Trust. Yes. My mind does. My mind believes every single letter of His word and knows that He is in control. But to submit my heart and my emotions to that trust is a far greater task for me. But really.....it is simple. Am I going to choose to completely trust Him, or am I going to falsely hold on to some small, illogical belief that by being so completely wrapped up in this emotionally, that I somehow have a smidge of control? I relinquish that God, and God alone has the control. And thank goodness for that! Psalm 46:10 will be my verse for today... "Be still and know that I am God."

Restoration. That word has been repeated in my mind since I awoke this morning. God will restore Angel's body, and though wounded now, he will be healed. I trust in this. And restoration is also at hand for me, as I learn to lean on our mighty God more and more ....that I might be a source of strength to Sarah and Nick if/when I am called upon.

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How you can pray today:
*for affordable housing to become available to Sarah and Nick and other finances as well
* for Angel to come through surgery well and begin the long process of recovery
*for Hudson to be healthy and able to come to the hospital soon
*for the details of Haven's arrival (a new OB in UCLA? C-section there as well?)
*rest and comfort for Sarah and Nick

THANK YOU......each of you....for committing to helping through prayer. God is faithful to do mighty things when we commit them to prayer!

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the update. Praying and sending well wishes.....
Love,
Heidi

Cindy Tomaszewski said...

kristen...just want you to know that i'm praying...all the way out here in georgia.

Moo said...

I just want you to know I've been praying and praying for your dear friends. I'm glad to hear Angel is out of surgery...and I can't imagine how hard this all is. When is Haven due again?

Kristin said...

Oops...Moo is me. Apparently my mom is logged in on my computer.

Anonymous said...

Oh my goodness! Jeez...what difficult posts to read...tears fill my eyes...words cannot express... but their family can count on my prayers. May God be holding them tightly!
Love to them and you all,
Taylor

Anonymous said...

I am glad to hear Angel came through surgery well. My heart goes out to Sarah and her family.
Love,
Heidi

Anonymous said...

Just when you think life is unfair, I read this post and my worries are nothing compared to what your friends are going through. I pray for god to help Angel through this ordeal. He does wonderful things for amazing people and Angel is an amzing young boy to be able to fight like he has..I wish nothing but wondeful joyful outcomes. Please god take care of Angel and his family. XOXO Jenny. Great post Kris!