Saturday, August 16, 2008
365 days ago....
...I gave birth to a precious, 6 pound, 10 ounce, beautiful baby girl! It was such a peaceful, joyful, serene day, and her temperament from those very first moments has always echoed that. Mellow and easy going....happy and, at times, boisterous. I love her more than words could ever attest to! It amazes me how much I love her....how a momma's heart can adore both her children with such intensity! I am truly blessed! I love you, sweet Belle! You are my angel! Happy, happy birthday, Love!
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Welcoming Baby Haven
Haven Anneliese, born yesterday August 13 at 12:46pm! She weighed 7 pounds, 6 ounces and was 19.5 inches long! Mommy and Baby are doing incredibly well!
Isn't she beautiful???!!
Isn't she beautiful???!!
I was incredibly honored to be a part of such a special day! We arrived at the hospital an hour or so after Haven's birth and visited with Sarah and Nick's family while we waited for Sarah to get settled. We got to visit with Angel for a time prior to their specially arranged meeting with sweet baby Haven....their first time as a family of 5! I was thankful beyond words to have this little photography hobby of mine, because it is was for the purpose of photographing this special day that I was there, in the room, when the boys first met Haven. Hudson's reaction was priceless. He walked slowly into the room, a look of astonishment and joy gracing his face, and as he drew close to Haven said "I LIKE her!" in a way that sounded like he hadn't been too sure of what his reaction would be before hand. And when the boys first heard her cry, they both threw their hands over their ears! teehee! :) They spent much time lingering over their new sister, stroking and kissing her; inspecting her tiny features and loving on her. She really is a beautiful baby!
We got to spend a good chunk of time bonding with Sarah and Haven, but also with Angel. I was so glad for that time as well. I'll tell you friends....that boy is AMAZING! (As if we didn't already know that!) When you look at this child, sitting in his hospital bed and you begin talking with him, he is the same Angel as always...full of spunk and life. Vibrant and silly! He walked all the way (and back) to Sarah's post-partum room and spend a considerable amount of time visiting there. Looking at him, if you didn't know the torment his body had been through in recent weeks, you really wouldn't know how ill he was or what an incredible road to recovery lies ahead of him, save the two IV poles jammed with medication after medication. As we got ready to leave the hospital late last night, we spend another bit of time with Angel, just the three of us. He was playful and spunky, despite the late hour (10pm!) and kept teasing me that he was 'gonna take me down' someday. (He was on a wrestling kick just then!) We were able to help him prepare for bed and then our time at the hospital drew to a close and we bid him goodnight. I am just so, so, SO thankful and honored to have been part of such a special day in their lives! A blessing indeed!
With another busy day ahead of me as I prepare for Ellie's birthday this weekend, I will draw this post to a close with several pictures of the day yesterday.
What an amazing day! Thank you, Sarah for letting for me be a part of it!
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
A New Day
I awoke this morning early, before the alarm, to the twitter of a bird outside my window. The air was cool and crisp as I wandered downstairs to cozy up with a warm, inviting cup of coffee. I gazed out the kitchen window as I poured alertness into my mug, shrugged off the cloak of sleep and breathed in peace. Today is a new day. Fresh, without blemish or mark. A new day full of promise. This is in stark contrast to the way I fell asleep last night. For yesterday was a day marked with busyness, stress and exhaustion. I went to bed near tears last night, laying down my bible with an unusually heavier heart than when I opened it, and snuggling deep into my pillow as if I could somehow bury the day in it. I don't much care for days like yesterday. I think I fell asleep praying for a morning much like this...one of peacefulness and ease.
Standing in the kitchen, the sun began to peek over the horizon and bounced rays of light off the scattering of clouds. God painted the sky with beautiful hues of pink and lavender and I thought, "A baby will be born today". Long awaited, precious baby Haven will meet the world today...in just a few hours as I sit to type this. And this morning, as I ponder the day ahead, I marvel at God's unending grace, provision and love. How this child, woven and knit together inside her mother, was perfectly timed and perfectly planned by God. From my earthly perspective, in recent weeks, I have often questioned God's timing and reasoning for things. Not that I have doubted His wisdom and power, but rather, in my humanness, I search for reasons why. But those questions always only lead me back to one thought "God knows. He is in control and He has a perfect plan." Yes. God, and God alone knows why He sets certain things in motion and plans things as He does. And thank goodness for that!! Thank goodness that there is a Master Planner overseeing all that is in this world! What comfort I find in this thought!
This morning, as I gazed out at this new day before me, breathing in God's assurance that His timing is perfect, all my questions and anxieties fell away. Peace settled in their place (if even only for a time) and I grow excited to meet this little, long awaited precious baby who is wrapped in prayer. She will come into a family and into a life that is, in this season, surrounded in busyness, stress and anxieties, but just as I awoke to this new day of peace, her birth will be a sweet, refreshing, cozy refuge for her family....a little slice of heaven.......a safe haven for their weary hearts.
Looking forward to meeting you in a few short hours, sweet child. Praying for your arrival to be safe and peaceful!
Standing in the kitchen, the sun began to peek over the horizon and bounced rays of light off the scattering of clouds. God painted the sky with beautiful hues of pink and lavender and I thought, "A baby will be born today". Long awaited, precious baby Haven will meet the world today...in just a few hours as I sit to type this. And this morning, as I ponder the day ahead, I marvel at God's unending grace, provision and love. How this child, woven and knit together inside her mother, was perfectly timed and perfectly planned by God. From my earthly perspective, in recent weeks, I have often questioned God's timing and reasoning for things. Not that I have doubted His wisdom and power, but rather, in my humanness, I search for reasons why. But those questions always only lead me back to one thought "God knows. He is in control and He has a perfect plan." Yes. God, and God alone knows why He sets certain things in motion and plans things as He does. And thank goodness for that!! Thank goodness that there is a Master Planner overseeing all that is in this world! What comfort I find in this thought!
This morning, as I gazed out at this new day before me, breathing in God's assurance that His timing is perfect, all my questions and anxieties fell away. Peace settled in their place (if even only for a time) and I grow excited to meet this little, long awaited precious baby who is wrapped in prayer. She will come into a family and into a life that is, in this season, surrounded in busyness, stress and anxieties, but just as I awoke to this new day of peace, her birth will be a sweet, refreshing, cozy refuge for her family....a little slice of heaven.......a safe haven for their weary hearts.
Looking forward to meeting you in a few short hours, sweet child. Praying for your arrival to be safe and peaceful!
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Doing well!
As I sit down here at the computer to blog, I feel a bit overwhelmed and not sure what to even post. We've had several weeks of busy, busy days...full of so many wonderful things and a few not so wonderful things. Oh how I wish I could revisit them all and share them with you. I never even posted about our trip to the lake or the beach this past weekend or any of the other fun things we've been doing. I feel sad that I haven't had time lately to blog like I *used* to. It is a season though and in awhile I will *hopefully* be back to my normal blogging routine. We'll see.
BUT....since so many of you have been asking, I wanted to let you know that Luke is doing well! I am sorry not to have posted sooner. His bleeding has actually been pretty much non-existent since we saw Dr. Shah 8 days ago. Like I said before, it comes and goes. But I believe that it is our prayers at work in his little body!
We received a letter over the weekend that was an estimate of the costs related to his colonoscopy. It was actually listed as a "colonoscopy with biopsy and a polypectomy". Hmmm. As I thought, it will be an out of pocket cost to us until we reach our deductible for him of $1500. Then anything after that will be covered at 70%. Ironically, they estimate the costs of the procedure at $1573! Yikes! That is something we were NOT expecting! The letter also stated that the procedure was scheduled for August 18th! Something I was completely unaware of, as no one from the office ever notified us of this. So....I've been in contact with (left messages for, is more accurate) Dr. Shah's office to have the date rescheduled and to get answers to several questions we have regarding the prep. for the procedure and such. Hopefully I will hear back today. We are just not prepared to do the procedure in less than a week. Ty will need to reschedule his own work hours to be there with us, and we will need to figure out care for Ellie as well. Then it comes down to preparing Luke for all the things leading up to the procedure, as it is those things that will be the roughest for him. Since he will be sedated for the actual procedure, that will be the simplest part of it all! :)
SO........all that to say that we are still in limbo. But he did AWESOME for his blood draw that day! He was completely a SUPER HERO and did all the things I asked of him! He held still, breathed with me, listened carefully, and much to my surprise, didn't hardly even flinch when she poked him! Not even a tear either (which was most definitely okay to do, but he didn't!). I was so, so, SOOOO proud of him! We went and got an ice cream afterwards together since he did so well! Big boy!
And now, seeing the clock I realize I must get going. But not without a little picture of my "Belle" who will be having her first birthday in just FOUR more days! Can you believe it? This year has flown by! She is such a doll, isn't she!? I love, love, LOVE her!
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More to come! Thank you, as always, for checking in and keeping in your prayers!
Monday, August 4, 2008
Back briefly....
Hi friends...
I am back, but only briefly to let you know a little of what has been going on for us this past week. There are a couple of things that I think are prayer-worthy that I wanted to share with you, if you wouldn't mind lifting them up to God on our behalf.
In a quick nutshell, for some time now, Luke has been intermittently complaining of his bottom (rectum) hurting or being sore. When we look, the outside has just looked red and diaper-rash'ish around that area, so we have been 'treating' it by keeping it clean and coated in cream. But in the couple of days before we left for the lake and then several times since then, he has had episodes of rectal bleeding when he stools. :( The worst I had seen it was on this past Wednesday morning, just prior to a scheduled visit to our pediatrician, when the toilet was completely red. :( It has not been quite that bad since that day, but there is still some mild bleeding going on somewhere. Our pediatrician ran a few tests (stool samples) to check for parasites and such, and referred us back to the gastroenterologist (Dr. Shah) that Luke saw for his reflux as an infant. That appointment was this morning. Dr. Shah examined Luke, asked many questions and was very thorough in determining what he thinks is going on with him. There appear to be two separate things going on with Luke's poor little bottom. :( First, the outer redness and soreness and second, the bleeding. He does not think that they are related. Dr. Shah thinks that the redness, oozy (sorry if that is TMI) and sore outer bottom is/was possibly caused by a simple strep infection around the rectum, since it has gotten better recently. It did, however, cause a fissure internally, which is tender for Luke. A blood test this afternoon will confirm this.
Secondly is the bleeding. Because the bleeding is also intermittent and there have been episodes of more than just a smear on the tp after stooling (ie, that day the toilet was full!), Dr. Shah wants to rule out a polyp via a colonoscopy. :( I will tell you that that part I am not thrilled with. I asked many questions and made sure I accurately understood why the test needed to be run and what exactly he believes is the culprit, and at this point, all indicators lead to a polyp as the most likely cause. He did not believe that it was Crohn's, or colitis or another syndrome that I can't remember the name of (some type of diverticulitis, I think????) and because the quantity of blood was more than just a drop or two, he did not believe the fissure was the cause. That would have only bleed a small amount, I believe.
So....we are waiting to hear back from the doctor's office regarding insurance approval (I think we will have to pay out of pocket though) and to set a date for the colonoscopy. It will most likely be the 18th, I think, but I will let you know.
While I am not super worried about all of this (I think Ty is more concerned than I am) I am appropriately concerned and glad to be working towards finding out what is going on. But Luke is at a funny stage now developmentally where he is expressing ALOT of fear with even going to the doctor's office lately. This is very new for him, as he has always been so easy going with doctors. Even my best Child Life preparation for the simplest things like a routine ears, nose, heart/lung exam is not working to calm him. Strange. He literally tried to run out the door of the waiting room this morning when they called his name and immediately burst into sobbing, trembling tears. This is very unlike him! I will be taking him for a blood draw this afternoon, and because he has been so anxious, I am more than a little concerned as to how he will do. I am going to do a little teaching before we leave, but seeing how it hasn't helped much for even the general stuff, I am not holding out much hope for a smooth poke today. :( And the colonoscopy....well....that will be a whole different ballgame with needing an IV, sedation and all. So if you would, please just say a little prayer both for the cause of this bleeding to be accurately determined and also for his little anxious heart to be receptive to and trusting of Mommy's teachings and support. :( Poor little guy. I am so thankful I can prepare him though! That is a blessing!
I am off for now to get a few things done before naptime is over and we head off to the lab! Before I go though, I wanted to tell you that I was able to see Sarah yesterday to help her gather her things for Haven's arrival on the 13th, and she seemed to be doing very well! Her demeanor was calm and peaceful despite it all, which spoke volumes to me about how all those prayers are working! Angel is doing much better after his partial closure last week. He was in a significant amount of pain, but it is slowly improving. He will go back in for another surgery on Wednesday to close the remaining portion, so please be in prayer for this, as well as his pain to be minimal afterwards.
More to come. Love to each of you.....
I am back, but only briefly to let you know a little of what has been going on for us this past week. There are a couple of things that I think are prayer-worthy that I wanted to share with you, if you wouldn't mind lifting them up to God on our behalf.
In a quick nutshell, for some time now, Luke has been intermittently complaining of his bottom (rectum) hurting or being sore. When we look, the outside has just looked red and diaper-rash'ish around that area, so we have been 'treating' it by keeping it clean and coated in cream. But in the couple of days before we left for the lake and then several times since then, he has had episodes of rectal bleeding when he stools. :( The worst I had seen it was on this past Wednesday morning, just prior to a scheduled visit to our pediatrician, when the toilet was completely red. :( It has not been quite that bad since that day, but there is still some mild bleeding going on somewhere. Our pediatrician ran a few tests (stool samples) to check for parasites and such, and referred us back to the gastroenterologist (Dr. Shah) that Luke saw for his reflux as an infant. That appointment was this morning. Dr. Shah examined Luke, asked many questions and was very thorough in determining what he thinks is going on with him. There appear to be two separate things going on with Luke's poor little bottom. :( First, the outer redness and soreness and second, the bleeding. He does not think that they are related. Dr. Shah thinks that the redness, oozy (sorry if that is TMI) and sore outer bottom is/was possibly caused by a simple strep infection around the rectum, since it has gotten better recently. It did, however, cause a fissure internally, which is tender for Luke. A blood test this afternoon will confirm this.
Secondly is the bleeding. Because the bleeding is also intermittent and there have been episodes of more than just a smear on the tp after stooling (ie, that day the toilet was full!), Dr. Shah wants to rule out a polyp via a colonoscopy. :( I will tell you that that part I am not thrilled with. I asked many questions and made sure I accurately understood why the test needed to be run and what exactly he believes is the culprit, and at this point, all indicators lead to a polyp as the most likely cause. He did not believe that it was Crohn's, or colitis or another syndrome that I can't remember the name of (some type of diverticulitis, I think????) and because the quantity of blood was more than just a drop or two, he did not believe the fissure was the cause. That would have only bleed a small amount, I believe.
So....we are waiting to hear back from the doctor's office regarding insurance approval (I think we will have to pay out of pocket though) and to set a date for the colonoscopy. It will most likely be the 18th, I think, but I will let you know.
While I am not super worried about all of this (I think Ty is more concerned than I am) I am appropriately concerned and glad to be working towards finding out what is going on. But Luke is at a funny stage now developmentally where he is expressing ALOT of fear with even going to the doctor's office lately. This is very new for him, as he has always been so easy going with doctors. Even my best Child Life preparation for the simplest things like a routine ears, nose, heart/lung exam is not working to calm him. Strange. He literally tried to run out the door of the waiting room this morning when they called his name and immediately burst into sobbing, trembling tears. This is very unlike him! I will be taking him for a blood draw this afternoon, and because he has been so anxious, I am more than a little concerned as to how he will do. I am going to do a little teaching before we leave, but seeing how it hasn't helped much for even the general stuff, I am not holding out much hope for a smooth poke today. :( And the colonoscopy....well....that will be a whole different ballgame with needing an IV, sedation and all. So if you would, please just say a little prayer both for the cause of this bleeding to be accurately determined and also for his little anxious heart to be receptive to and trusting of Mommy's teachings and support. :( Poor little guy. I am so thankful I can prepare him though! That is a blessing!
I am off for now to get a few things done before naptime is over and we head off to the lab! Before I go though, I wanted to tell you that I was able to see Sarah yesterday to help her gather her things for Haven's arrival on the 13th, and she seemed to be doing very well! Her demeanor was calm and peaceful despite it all, which spoke volumes to me about how all those prayers are working! Angel is doing much better after his partial closure last week. He was in a significant amount of pain, but it is slowly improving. He will go back in for another surgery on Wednesday to close the remaining portion, so please be in prayer for this, as well as his pain to be minimal afterwards.
More to come. Love to each of you.....
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