Priorities

I got a very clear lesson in priorities this morning. But before I get to the lesson part, let me set the stage for you as to how my morning was going. Beware, this is kinda long!

4:15....up early to exercise (Yes...I know I am a tad crazy, but really it is the only time available to me to get the exercise I need). After my work out, I downed a cup of hot coffee and scrambled up the stairs for a shower. Luke had a doctors appointment at ten after 8 this morning (more on that later), with preschool immediately after that, so I had to be right on 'schedule' this morning to get us all up, dressed, fed and out the door by 7:40, in order that we would be on time. Ty was home this morning too, so that he could go to our appointment, which was a nice change. Anyway....here I am, in true 'gotta be on time' Kris form, rushing around before we left, and, as my husband lovingly pointed out, stressing out over the little things. (I love you, honey, and I know you were right, even if I didn't tell you so then!) We made it to the doctors office with three minutes to spare.

Phew...on time. Check.

(Mind you, we waited 45 minutes to be seen, even at that early hour and Luke was 25 minutes late to preschool because of it, but oh well, right?!) Once the appointment was over (and after I grumbled to Ty in the office several times about how annoying it is to me when people run late!), we drove Luke the 2 blocks over to his preschool, rushed him inside (yes, again...I was rushing) and settled him in.

Phew.....he's there. Check.

Now, with Ellie strapped back in the car, Ty and I made our way back home so that he could get things ready to leave for work. He was driving, which meant less rushing, which was probably good, 'cause if it had been me, I would probably have been speeding. (shhhh...don't tell my mother! LOL! Just kidding, Mom. I know you're reading!)

At home, the rushing continued. With the phone attached on one ear as I talked to a photography friend, I laid Ellie down for a nap (more on that in a second), hustled downstairs, saw that Ty was on the computer and silently grumbled again, because I had plans for get some photoshopping done during my precious hour naptime.

Okay...can't check that one off, I thought.

Laundry. I'll get the laundry started while he's on the computer.

Laundry sorted. Check.

Once Ty was off the computer, I hurriedly loaded up photoshop and got to work. Just a few more images left to do, and then I can be done with this shoot. (aka, another check mark off my list!)

I begin plugging away at my work. Ellie fusses from her bed, obviously not interested in napping much, so I run up the stairs to return her binky to her mouth (she likes to throw it 'overboard' as a game). I lay her down, snuggle Snuggie into her neck and bid her nigh-night.

Baby down. Check.

I return to my work on the computer. Except this time, a small, quiet nagging thought keeps revisiting my mind. "Your husband is home. It's the middle of the morning. The house is quiet. Why don't you go spend some time with him? You're always wishing you had more time together. What's your priority? Work or your husband?"

Now I'd like to be able to say to you that it was the first time that thought crossed my mind that I closed my computer screen and went to the family room where Ty was, but that would be a lie. No. I kept working. Just a few more clicks...let me just get this one part done. THEN I'll go. Sadly, it took about three times for that quiet little thought in my mind to get the better of me and I went to sit beside my husband on the couch. As I walked the hallway towards him, the thought came to me, "Priorities. What ARE yours??? HE comes first. Not your work!". And as I honored that, the rushing, anxious 'gotta-get-as-much-done-as-I-can-in-my-short-little-time-this-morning" attitude faded away. The to-do list dissipated. The need to rush ceased. And I was met with a happy husband because of it!

And as if the lesson wasn't already pretty clear, God showed me part two a short time later. Ellie continued to fuss and stir in her crib during this whole time. My normally easy-going child who can be laid down for a nap wide awake and usually goes RIGHT to sleep, fussed a TON this morning. It appeared that she was NOT interested in napping. So after a time, as it was closer to when Ty needed to leave for work, I climbed the stairs again to Ellie's room. I found her wide awake, sitting in bed with all her stuffed animals, Snuggie and two binkies laying on the floor around her crib. I scooped her up in my arms, apparently not completely learning my lesson in priorities from just a few minutes ago, because my thought at that moment was "okay baby...it's bedtime! Hurry up and go to sleep. I need to get some work done." And this is where God drove the message home. But I must first give you a little background.

At each nap time and each bedtime for literally months now, Ellie refuses to snuggle in my arms longer than a minute or two. She will cuddle into me for a moment, but then makes it obvious by her pushing away that she would much rather be in her bed to fall asleep. She really has very little interest in snuggling at these times. And it has been only recently that this has become bothersome to me. For I realize, as I watch her grow bigger and bigger, that the days of her even possibly falling asleep in my arms are numbered! There WILL come a time when she is simply too big. And it has been this thought that mas made me sad and secretly wish, as I cuddle her for the moments she will allow me to, that someday...just once even....she would let me hold her in my arms while she sleeps again.

Fast forward to this morning. Remember, I am rushing to get her to SLEEP (!!!!) so that I can get my work done. I scoop her up in my arms and just like any other time, she nuzzles into my chest for a second. Okay....I think. I'll put her down in a minute and she'll FINALLY go to sleep. But UNLIKE any other day, today, she chose (or more accurately God chose) to allow me the luxury of having her fall sleep in my arms as I swayed and kissed her there beside her crib!!!! I was in complete disbelief as I looked down at her peaceful, pudgy little sleeping face and realized what was happening. As clear as day, I understood and the lesson was driven home. Priorities. I had to make a choice right then. Was I going to continue to rush through my day, aiming to check things off of my to do list, or was I going to put the things first that should be first and relish in the gifts and little moments of joy such as these? What's more important? And as I rocked Ellie in my arms, hearing her quiet, rhythmic breathing and stroking her silkened cheek, there choice was clear....as if there was never even a question to begin with. No matter what......regardless of the work to be done or the chores to be accomplished, or the clients waiting for their pictures.....my family must come first. Always. And I realize, that as I hold fast to those priorities, everything else will naturally fall right into place. Without me worrying about it! So....I lingered there, beside her crib, rocking her and cuddling her for a LONG time.....soaking up the moment that I will likely not be blessed with again.....all the while offering up prayers of gratitude for this simple pleasure and important lesson!!