Finally able to blog....

Phew! I've been hoping to get a chance to sit and blog ALL day....it's now 9:15pm and I finally have a few free minutes to sit at the 'puter. Sheesh! I miss my blog-time. :( I miss feeling like I'm connected to you guys. My blogging (and your comments) always helped me to feel 'plugged in' . It was my way of being able to reach out to those of you who I can't talk to on a regular basis. Just knowing that you are out there reading (even if I don't always here from you in the comment section) made me feel like I was a part of something. But now that my days are so much busier and computer time is at a premium, I'm feeling a sense of loneliness and isolation of sorts. Its a little ironic to think that sitting at a computer, typing endlessly to people I can't even talk to somehow fills a little bit of that social void, but it does. And having that time taken away right now conversely makes me feel alone. Strange how that works.

Anyway....speaking of isolation......last week was a rough one for me. I kinda felt like I was imprisoned in my house, with still not being able to drive, Ty being back at work and friends still feeling a little leery of intruding. I was started to develop a serious case of cabin fever. Wednesday was my first time driving and getting out of the house. I had my two week post-op checkup with Dr. Hage and let me just say that getting out of the house, even for an hour, was a HUGE deal to me. Freedom! Fresh air!! People!! I made the most of the time and took the long was home...driving as slowly as the people around me would allow. Ha! :) It did wonders for my spirits. I'm wasn't technically supposed to start driving until this week, but when you have appointments you have to get to and no one else to drive you, that's how it goes. I'm feeling pretty well....nearly healed anyways, so driving wasn't a challenge. I just made sure to be really careful, since I know that it's my ability to react quickly (i.e. stomp of the break in the event of an accident) that is inhibited...hence the suggested waiting time of three to four weeks to drive again after abdominal surgery. It takes awhile for all those nerves to heal.

Anyhow...I digressed. Back to my prison. After getting out on Wednesday and the 'fresh air' high that followed, I soon realized that I wasn't as free was I thought. For now, I'm still trying to figure out how to navigate grocery stores, Target or any other stores with a newborn and a toddler. Since Ellie is so tiny, she has to ride in the car seat (covered with a blanket, of-course, to ward off any unsolicited, grimy stranger-hands) which makes it necessary for Luke to either ride in the back of the cart (preferably) or walk beside me. Now I don't know about you, but I'm not a fan of having Luke walk. It's just too much of a headache trying to keep the curious hands of a two and a half year old off all those goodies! But having him ride in the back of the cart wherever we go (providing the store even has carts) makes it rather tough to purchase much of anything. So here is my dilemma of last week. I did attempt Target one day...just to get out of the house again, and it went pretty well, but poor Luke was nearly buried alive in the cart with all our loot piled on top of him. :) LOL! Anywhere else I was interested in going either didn't have carts or their carts were too small to hold Luke AND Ellie. Hmph. So I resorted to driving around a lot.....I made a special trip all the way out to Costco just to fill my gas tank, and then drove up through Oak Glen just to get a change of scenery. It was still so stinkin' hot too, that even the thought of leaving the air conditioning made me cringe. But over the weekend, Sarah brought me the Moby wrap that I had ordered, and along with it, a new level of freedom! I love that thing!!! Now I can wear Ellie all snug as a bug and still have my hands free to grocery shop, do chores around the house, or push Luke in the shopping carts just as I always have. Hooray! I've been wearing her around the house to get used to it and we ventured out to Trader Joes, Bed, Bath and Beyond and a few other stores this weekend so that I could practice my baby-wearing. I'll tell you what....I sure got a crazy amount of looks from people as they tried to figure out what I was wearing and then the stare usually transformed into a little bit of surprise and a sweet smile or gush over the little bundle they saw curled next to my chest! People sure love to see tiny babes. But with the wrap holding Ellie so close to my body, it makes it pretty darn impossible for strangers to feel comfortable reaching out to touch. She's pretty much under lock-down in that thing! :) LOL! That's the way I like it too! No germs for my newbie!
So.....I'm feeling a little more hopeful now about my ability to get out and about as I used to. Hopefully, I'll be able to ward off that loneliness and isolation!

This week will make that task eay for me. Diana, my best friend from college, is flying in tomorrow morning to stay for a few days, so I'll have company and adult conversation during the week. She'll be staying until Friday morning. I'm so excited to see her! She's 20 weeks pregnant with a little girl too, so it will be fun to hand down some of my maternity clothes and maybe do a little baby shopping too. Luke is looking forward to meeting his "Aunt Dianana" too. He was too young to remember the last time he saw her, which was when he was a mere 9 months old. It should be a fun week!

Speaking of Luke.....our little man seems to be doing much better this week. He's still a little tougher to handle that usual, but each day we see glimpses of our old Luke returning. We went to Olive Garden for lunch yesterday and he was an absolute angel the entire time! He ate well, behaved well and was overall just a joy to have around. No tantrums or trouble! It was so nice! Ty laughed at me from across the table when I welcomed the old Luke back and asked him where he'd been hiding for the last week and a half. :) Luke didn't understand what I was talking about of-course, but Ty and I got a good giggle out of it! Our sweet son is slowly being returned to us! :)

As a special treat for him, we put up some of those glow in the dark stars on his ceiling today. Ty said that he always wanted to have those in his room as a kid, so we picked up some for Luke. Geez......I've never seen him so eager to get to bed and turn out the lights before!! :) He was in awe of the stars as we left the room tonight and kept asking us if they were going to have to leave or if they would keep glowing all night long. Cute kiddo. I love how the simplest thing light him up!

Well....looking at the clock I see that it is now nearly 10pm and I know that if I don't get to bed soon, I will be hurting come the middle of the night from a lack of sleep. Ellie is still having a tough time waking to feed in night, but it's slowly getting better as she gets a little bigger. She's roughly on a three hour cycle (with nursing sessions taking about 35-45 minutes) so I'm getting hour and a half spurts of sleep in between. It's not quite as bad as I remember it being with Luke, but I'm still having trouble keeping my eyes open and HER AWAKE in those wee hours of the morning. Blegh. I'll be glad when she can go longer in between feedings.

Okay...I really am going to go now. Thanks for staying tuned into my ramblings. And thanks for still checking in, despite my lack of frequent blogging. It really does me a lot to me that you stop by to check in on us! I'll leave you with a few more pictures from Ellie's newbie photo shoot before I go. Night, friends!



Daddy's little girl...


Big brother.....I think this is the only other one of the two of them that came out...kinda!


And a rare moment of wakefulness!


A few cute shots of silly Luke...


And lastly......I snapped this on Saturday afternoon during a little catnap....had to laugh at their identical sleeping positions!

Adjusting to life.....

Even though I know that I don't have to apologize for the long pause in my blogging, I am going to anyway! :) Sorry to have gone so many days without updating. Adjusting to life with two hasn't been all that tough, but finding time to sit at the computer, even to just quickly check my email, is quite a challenge these days. Hence no updates in a week! And that is also the reason that this blog will likely be on the shorter side. Both kiddos are sleeping at the moment and I have some computer (aka photoshop) work to catch up on, so I'll have to keep this brief(er).

Things are running pretty smoothly around here. Yesterday was my first day flying solo with both kids....my first official day as mommy to two on my own. Surprisingly, it was quite pleasant and easy going! We missed having Daddy around all day, but I think getting back into a old (or slightly revamped) Mommy & Luke routine did wonders for Luke! He really has been a handful the last 10 days! Like I said in my previous post, it's all very normal behavior, but challenging and frustrating nonetheless! Sometimes I've wondered out loud who stole my sweet, mild mannered child and replaced him with this moody, temperamental and often naughty two year old! But getting back into the normal routine helped A LOT! We had a very pleasant day yesterday, with only one or two timeouts and very few tantrums. Yay!

Overall, I'd have to say that this whole experience thus far has been, in every way, easier than I thought it would be and easier than it was with Luke. From the whole birth experience to breastfeeding... healing, sleeplessness, and also managing two....it's not quite as treacherous as I anticipated......SO FAR! :) I'm counting my blessings, but I'm also completely expecting a shift in the easiness of things when Ellie becomes more alert and sleeps less. Right now, she is a sleeper! I can hardly wake the child to eat even! Which, I might add, is my biggest frustration (aside from Luke's behavior) at the moment. She is such a sleepy baby that I have to work immensely hard to wake her to eat. Even to the point of using cool wash clothes on her little body to rouse her! Argh! It's terribly frustrating in the middle of the night when I can hardly keep my own eyes open to nurse and burp her! But we're managing and she is still gaining weight appropriately. We had her weighed at the lactation clinic yesterday and she was 7lbs 5 oz....a whole pound heavier than her lowest hospital weight! Good news to hear! I always worry about that part! You just never know just how much they are eating with breastfeeding.

Anyway, in keeping to my shorter post, I have to run, but I thought I would share some recent pictures, since those are always fun. Ty helped me do Ellie's newborn photo shoot for her birth announcements on Friday, so I have a few from the session I wanted to share. I can't share my most favorite ones with you just yet, since those will be on her announcement and I don't want to ruin the surprise :) , but I can share a few of the others. It took us 2 and a half hours to get the shoot done...but it was SOOOOOO much fun for me to do! Newbies are so easy to photograph...it was trying to get Luke to cooperate that was the toughest part...I really didn't get any great ones with the two of them together. Oh well! But here are a couple teasers.....







Isn't she sweet??!! I just love my kids! And my husband!! I'm so blessed!

On Sunday, we headed over to my parent's house for dinner. It was the first time the 'tousins', as Luke calls them, met Ellie. Here are some snapshots of them....


Grandma & Grandpa...proud grandparents that they are....


One of the very few shots of Luke holding his sis AND smiling...sorry it's blurry!


And a happy Aunt Jenn with her favorite (and only) niece and nephew!


Okay folks....that's it from me.....time to finish up some of the other newbie Ellie pictures so I can get those announcements out before she graduates high school! :) I totally feel like I skimmed over all the good stuff and fun details of our last week, but I guess that's just the way it goes for now....until I can blog more regularly. Adios for now!

Photos....finally!

I finally had some time to sit and put this little montage together for you all....enjoy and make sure your speakers are on...there is even music! :) For an update on life in the McLaughlin house, read today's earlier post! :) Night, friends!

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

The bodysnatchers have returned the goods....

.....at-least part of them, anyway! I have been enjoying the daily revelation of the return of my body! Each day, I have just a little more of myself back! I still have a LONG way to go to regain my former self (and loose my current poundage!) but that will come in time. No rushing there! But for now, I am enjoying the ability to bend (slouch even!), breathe without effort, roll over in bed and walk without a severe waddle! I'm still walking hunched over from the c-section, but I'm almost completely vertical again! My pain is getting better by the day....I had a few rough days between Sunday and today, with the pain being sometimes just a little too much to tolerate, but I can feel improvement all the time! I am on the road to recovery!

As for things around the house, my last post was obviously written when I was on severe 'baby high'! Re-reading it, I realized we were walking on Cloud 9. We still are happy and blessed, but the adrenaline is wearing off and we're coming down from the mountain-top, so to speak. Monday was a HARD day for us around the house. The 'tireds' had caught up with both Ty and I and Luke was having a really tough day too. His behavior is getting a little better each day since, but he is showing us that this new adjustment is hard for him. No matter what, each time we tell him no for anything, he throws himself to the floor in tears. And when we offer him choices (which we try to do ALL the time) he will pick one thing, then cry when we give that thing to him because he wants something else. A few times, we have tried to give him the other choice, but he will cry even then too! Argh! SOOOOOO frustrating. Nothing pleases him, really. And I know that all of this behavior is completely normal, but I think the fact that he is normally SUCH a good boy with a pleasant demeanor makes the times when he is 'stinky' even harder to handle. Sometimes I wonder who stole my sweet child away. I know it is just a season....and I know just how normal it is, but it's tough nonetheless.

I miss him a lot! My arms and time have been so consumed with Ellie....between breastfeeding, diaper changing and simple my own healing, that I have not been able to love on Luke as I always have. I miss our special time together. It makes me tear up as I type that. Sometimes it feels like our relationship has changed so much already. It makes me sad. I am trying to make a concerted effort to stop what I am doing to focus my attention solely on him and take the time to cuddle him extra long, read a story just to have him close, or make do whatever it takes to help him feel extra special, but its still hard. The bright side of all this is that I can see his relationship with Ty blossoming. They are getting the time together that Luke and I used to share. That is wonderful to see, but I'm envious of it as well. Change, change, change.

Speaking of Ty, he continues to be my hero! He is doing such a good job at keeping this household running while I am recovering. He's doing laundry, making meals, keeping the house tidy and keeping track of Luke! I'm pitching in where I can, and each day I can do just a little more, but it's slow going. His biggest heroism is with Luke. My sometimes easily irritated husband had morphed into a pillar of patience!!! Sometimes, he is considerably more patient and 'with it' than I am, and I am thankful for that!!! Keep the prayers for him comin'! With all of us to care for, he needs 'em!!

And lastly, but certainly not least is Miss Ellie! She is doing great! Part of our frustrations this week was trying to get her to the pediatrician for her first well-baby check yesterday. She was supposed to be seen on Monday, but we were unable to get an appointment for her, so we got one for yesterday (Tuesday) morning at 9:15. We scrambled to get there on time, and I was eager to see how her weight gain (or loss) was. Well....when we arrived, we were told that somehow, her appointment was scheduled for Aug. 31st instead of Aug. 21st and that there were no appointments even available yesterday to squeeze her into. I explained the situation to the receptionist..."She was supposed to be seen yesterday, according to our discharge orders. I just made the appt. yesterday morning...how could there be a mistake. I explained our situation to the appointment lady! She is a newborn and absolutely HAS to be seen today...if only for a weight check!" and the receptionist disappeared into the back to speak to our doctor. I waited at the counter, silently asking God to figure it all out because I was, at this point, near tears.
Dr. Zaft (our pediatrician) came out with more bad news. Apparently, my medical group recently changed their policy (recently meaning that it must've happened in the last 3 weeks, because I confirmed that Dr. Zaft could be our pedi. about 3 weeks ago and all was fine) and now, that particular office where Dr. Zaft is is no longer accepting new pediatric patients. I would have to see another doctor at another office. The tears began to flow at that point and Dr. Zaft reached for my hand, assuring me that Ellie could be seen that day in the Lactation clinic for a weight check and that they would figure out who and when I could get in to see a different doctor. I cried. Couldn't any of this be easy?! I did all my homework and thought I had it all figured out, and when it came down to it, I couldn't even get my newbie baby in to see her doctor at 5 days of age! Argh! I walked away from the desk, immediately called Laura Messmore (my lactation specialist friend and saving grace!!!). I told her the story and I discovered that the lactation clinic was closed on Tuesdays. Great! But being the angel that she is, she told us to come to the hospital (which was just across the street) and she would check Ellie's weight, billirubin levels (jaundice) and see how our breastfeeding was going. Oh, thank God for Laura!!!! She always comes to our rescue! We are so grateful for her!!!!

To make this long story short (or even longer I guess), we spent about an hour with Laura. She weighed Ellie before, during and after her feeding and we were all surprised to learn that she has already surpassed her birth weight! She is currently 7 lbs 1.5 oz, and she is breastfeeding and transferring milk so well that she took double the amount of milk that most babies her age take. The average is 1 oz. per feeding and Ellie took in two!! Way to go, Sweetie! Most babies also don't usually regain their birth weight until sometime around the second week of life, but by day 5, Ellie already had surpassed it! Yay!!!!! That news made me feel so calm and reassured! My milkers are working great!!! :) I won't have the constant struggle that I had for the ten months I breastfed Luke and I won't have to be on that stinkin' Reglan to keep my supply up! God has answered my many prayers in that department as well! Hallelujah!!!

So, all in all, the outcomes continue to be positive....despite a few bumps along the way.
We will continue to adjust to all these changes and life will seem much smoother in just a short time. I am still working on the photos for you.....it's tough to steal away to be on the computer at all, so the pics are slow in coming. The only reason I've even been able to blog right now is that Ty took Luke and Tess to the park and Ellie is napping in her swing between feedings. It's almost time to milk her again though, and I'd like to squeeze in a shower soon too, so I had better get going. Thanks for all your comments, prayers, phone calls and emails. I love feeling your presence through this time! For those of you who have not wanted to call for fear of bugging us, feel free to do so....I'd like to chat with you...it's okay to call! If I can't talk just then, I'll tell ya and I'll give you a call a little later on. But you're never bugging us! We feel blessed by your concern and love for us!

Okay...off for now. Hopefully I'll get some more pics for you today or tomorrow!

We are home!

Welcome to the world, Ellie Paige!!! I'm sure that by now, most of you have seen her little announcement email, but just because I love the picture so much, I'm going to post it again!



I still cannot believe that she is actually here! Even as I sit here typing and gazing down at her all bundled next to me! It's surreal! The last few days have been a whirlwind, but incredibly wonderful too! We didn't have internet access in the hospital, so we weren't able to update you all like I had hoped. Not that we had a ton of time or energy to do so, but the thought was nice! :) Actually, this whole c-section/ hospital experience, from beginning to end was really great....MUCH easier, pleasant and calm than before....in ALL aspects! The c-section itself went smoothly and uneventfully. We arrived at the hospital on time Thursday morning, but our room wasn't ready for a little while, so Ty and I waited in the waiting room. I was a bit irritated by that, since I just wanted to get things moving, but they apparently had an emergency c-section earlier that morning and my room still needed to be cleaned. Once we got in though, I felt calm and at ease. That is, until the anesthesiologist came in to do meet me just a few minutes prior to surgery. That's when the butterflies started fluttering around in my belly and I felt some waves of anxiety. But things moved rapidly from there, and before I knew it, I was hunched over in the OR, receiving my spinal block. Ty was brought into the room a few moments later (he was able to be present for that part of Luke's delivery, but hospital policy has changed since, so I had to go it alone this time.) Once the spinal took full effect and Ty was there beside me, it was a just a few moments until Dr. Hage began his work and Ellie was born. We had the awesome benefit of being able to photograph the entire surgery (no video....that isn't allowed) but Ty snapped many, many photos of her actual birth. It is AMAZING to see!!!! I looked back at them just a few minutes ago and we actually have one of her head emerging from my belly, while her body is still inside!! There are many others as equally awe-provoking and miraculous! And since I couldn't actually WATCH her birth, these pictures are the next best thing for me. And no....I don't mind seeing the blood. I think it's all awesome! (I won't share those online though, simply because I don't think you all are as inclined to see that sort of thing as I am!)

She began crying even before she was fully out of my belly and what a glorious sound that was! She has strong lungs, for sure....although she rarely has chosen to use them...she's a quiet, content baby so far! After her birth, she was whisked off to the nursery to be cleaned up and weighed and I met her again in recovery. The rest of Thursday was spent visiting with family and introducing them to Ellie. Luke has done great with her! He was a bit unsure about touching her that first day, but has since taken a liking to cradling her on his lap and stroking her head ever so gently. He asked multiple times a day to "hold my baby sister" and we willingly oblige. He loves her so much already! Just as we do!

Overall, things are going very smoothly for us. Our arrival home yesterday afternoon was a bit stressful, just because the transition was a little busy, but things have since taken on a nice, calm, easy routine. Ellie is sleeping incredibly well....I have to wake her to eat and we literally did not hear one peep out of her ALL night! I of-course, woke her every two hours or so to nurse and she cried when I had to change her little diaper, but other than that, we slept soundly in between! She is eating well today and seems to be taking well to nursing, although I am admittedly wishing she would eat MORE. My milk came in with full force yesterday and to be blunt, my chest looks like something off the cover of an x-rated video, if you know what I mean! LOL! For someone who is normally very 'small' I am well-endowed and painfully so right now! It's actually comical how they look right now! Ty and I had a good laugh about it last night when I made him take a few pictures just to log what they looked like. (Don't worry...I won't be sharing those either!) :)

As for my own healing, I'm doing well. Like I said before, this has all been much easier the second time around and the pain doesn't seem as intense, but I am still in considerable discomfort. The afternoons seem to be the worst. But I'm managing rather well...resting a lot and taking it easy. Ellie is making that easy for me to do, since she is so mellow! And Ty's been absolutely incredible through all this! He's been there, anticipating every need and helping me so much! Even the nurses in the hospital were amazed at how intuitive, caring and on top of things he was! I can't tell you enough how great he is! I am so, so lucky to have such a wonderful husband! And Anne-Marie, if you are reading, you are right....I am watching my rock of a husband turn to Daddy-mush as he loves on his new baby girl! :) It's precious and wonderful to watch! And I fall in love with him and my children more and more with each day!

So....although it's been a bit of a whirwind, the last four days have been great! We are adjusting well and just soaking in all the changes. We certainly feel immensely blessed to have this new baby girl! She is a gift from God!

I am off for now to feed this little one and to rest. I have a TON of pictures to share with you, but just have not had the chance to upload them all just yet. I think that I will probably put together a little photo album online or a slide show instead of posting just a few, so check back for that in a couple of days! Our thanks go out to all of you for faithfully praying for us and checking in to see how we are! We feel surrounded in your love and prayers! It is because of all those prayers that we are where we are today.....at home with a term, healthy baby girl...making a smooth, seamless transition from three to four! :)